Stroke of Penius

...when the moment hits you

Top 5 Signs I Have Writer’s Block

Top 5 Signs I Have Writer’s Block

5.
4.
3.
2.
1.

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Top 5 Signs Your CEO is Crazy

Top 5 Signs Your CEO is Crazy

5. Conducts board meetings in company letterhead loin cloth
4. Janitor keeps having to clean doo-doo drawings off the overhead projector.
3. Gives in-depth critiques of the entire Huey Lewis catalog
2. There is strong evidence to believe that sex has been had with every piece of furniture in the office.
1. Thinks CEO stands for ‘Casual Erections OK’

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Top 5 Worst Reality Shows

Top 5 Worst Reality Shows

5. Taxicab Concessions
4. Temptation Trailer
3. Big Broner
2. The Seal World: Clubbing in Antarctica
1. The Deadliest Snatch

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Top 5 Disney Cartoons

Top 5 Disney Cartoons

5. Weenie in Pooh
4. Lady and the Tramp: Spagettiton
3. The Loin King
2. Snow White And the Seven Maternity Tests
1. 101 Euthanizations

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Top 5 Reality Shows

Top 5 Reality Shows

5. Pimp my Bride
4. Pantsing with the Stars
3. The Real Mobilhousewives of Atlanta
2. The Biggest Boozer
1. The Amazing Racists

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2009 Presidential Erection

2009 Presidential Erection

When I first saw the “Everything Obama Store” in DC, I was enticed – not enticed enough to go in, but I was sensing some entice-aleptic type symptoms – mainly dry skin and bleeding. Never the less, the idea of its very existence was tattooed onto my pygmy brain. Tattooed like the image of walking in on [...]

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God Loves Ad-libs

God Loves Ad-libs

I’m sure God has a HUGE sense of humor.  It’s the A-hole who handed me this shitty pamphlet wearing a t-shirt saying “You will Burn in Hell” that should lighten up a bit.

So in spirit of Ash Wednesday, Ill try giving God the giggles until he poops himself.

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Top 5 Reasons I’m Skinny

Top 5 Reasons I’m Skinny

5. I’m the proud host of a Brady Bunch of tape-worms.
4. The zombies will eat the fat ones first
3. It’s banana hammock season.
2. Food makes me poop
1. I refuse to eat until Brandon and Josh sleep with a woman, or each other.

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Top 5 Things to Say to the hot Chick in the Elevator

Top 5 Things to Say to the hot Chick in the Elevator

5. Welcome to the Bonevater
4. Kiss me or I’ll fart
3. I would kill everyone in this elevator for you
2. Bet you get pregnant before the 4th floor.
1. Pressing the buttons, “You want the 6 or the 9?”

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Gimme Yo Digits

Gimme Yo Digits

Throw them finger-chunks in the air you Ol Dirty Bastards.  Here’s a doctoring of a anti-smoking ad from the 14th street subway.

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Venture Brothers SPHINX Logo

Venture Brothers SPHINX Logo

Top 5 Cereals Your Mom Won’t Let You Eat

Top 5 Cereals Your Mom Won’t Let You Eat

5. Crap’n Munch
4. Honey Bunches of Scrotes
3. Caca Pebbles
2. Shredded Pete
1. Grope-Nuts

Top 5 Nicknames For Your Penis

Top 5 Nicknames For Your Penis

5. Mick Shagger and the Stones
4. The Penilizer
3. Pink Floyd
2. Gonad The Ballbarian
1. Urethra Franklin

Top 5 Reasons I’m Not Dating Your Sister

Top 5 Reasons I’m Not Dating Your Sister

5. I’m allergic to dairy
4. I don’t want your sloppy seconds.
3. Her vagina’s always cockupied
2. She turns my grapes into raisonuts.
1. I don’t speak Cuntonese.

Top 5 Signs Something’s Wrong With Your Genitals

Top 5 Signs Something’s Wrong With Your Genitals

5. It has a permanent limp.
4. It’s been suddenly downsized.
3. It’s just a little testi.
2. It’s acting like an asshole.
1. You’ve got another thing cuming.

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